thepigeoncoop

Musings about life in the Pigeon household

@(#%$^*!

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Yesterday I was on Facebook (to which I’m completely addicted). And I saw a post from a family member who was treated like crap by a doctor and a pharmacist and didn’t think of any witty comeback or retort at the time. She was with her children and took it all in from these rude, ignorant people and later vented about it on FB.

This makes me so irritated as I can totally relate to this. I can never think of a good comeback. Ever.

And then the only release I have is to write about it on FB. Or here, now! Yay!

Another option I have is to talk about these people who tick me off behind their back.

This I do.

I’m not proud of it, but is sure helps to get it off my chest. And of course when I talk about them to friends & family, I have the BEST comebacks EVER. Which means absolutely nothing because I’m not in the moment, infront of the insulting weenies…

People think they can talk however they want, and usually with me, they get away with it. Do I have too much of an internal filter while other people are lacking in it? Do they just not care how their words come across?

And hey, I say stupid stuff. I say it all the time. I cringe when I think of the ridiculous things that have exploded out of my mouth. Verbal vomit. Literally!

But that’s different. That’s without malicious intent. That doesn’t count.

My blog – my rules.

Anyhoo.

For those rude blockheads I usually say, ‘what goes around, comes around’.

But maybe that’s just me saying something to make myself feel better about my inability to form coherent sentences when someone disses me.

I’m horrible with confrontation. Whether its at my kids’ school, at work (back in my former life), with friends, family, at the grocery store, at ANY store, on the street, in the library, at the pool, camping, at the airport, on vacation, at the skating rink, at the soccer dome, at the beach, with telemarketers, with people at my door, with neighbours…. I just take whatever they say to me and nod my head. Blank. Done.

What is that? When will I grow up and out of that? How is that an adult way to handle things? I should feel confident enough in myself and my opinions to be able to express myself assertively and be able to handle having a two-sided disagreement.

ESPECIALLY when my boys are with me. I don’t want them seeing me act like that when I’m not treated fairly. I want them to stick up for themselves. How do you teach that if you yourself can’t do it?

But I don’t.

I regress into that pleasing-everyone-so-everyone-likes-me kind of gal.

Great for everyone else. Annoying for me.

I remember my mom told me that the older she got, the less she cared what other people thought of her.

I can’t wait for that.

And while sometimes I think I don’t care so much like I used to (hey, as a teen I would NEVER go out of the house without make up on. Now I barely brush my hair to get the kids to school!), that still doesn’t solve the tongue-tied problem I have.

I really think it has to do with that whole idea of being nice and having everyone like you. I was kinda raised that way. My brother can probably relate, seeing as he was in the same family and all. But he seems so much more self-assured and able to deal with having actual conversations with grown ups (gawd, that was hard to type! Having to compliment my sibling? Ew)…

But really, do I need more people to like me? Is that what this is? I have a fantastic family and extended family. And seriously, I don’t need more people to like me – my friendship bus is full!

Not meaning to brag or anything… but really. I’m good in the friend department.

But maybe that’s why I have so many friends. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with someone who never argues with you or talks back? Hmmmm…

And if I was raised to be a ‘nice girl’, what about the other goddesses out there my age who have no problem voicing opinions and being assertive and not caring what other people think? They aren’t waiting for a magic fifty-something age where they have the luxury of no longer caring what others think. They do it now.

Wow. I think instead of solving anything, I’ve come up with more questions.

Thoughts?

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