Yep. I’ve got it! It’s brewing up in my cobweb-filled mind…
I took the youngest to his hockey-year-end wind-up party last night. It was at another of those germ-infested indoor play parks where all the kids loooove to play and all the mommies run behind their offspring with disinfectant wipes. The youngest had a blast – it was a pretty cool place, actually. Great seating for the parents and lots of stuff for the kidlets. And the youngest was exhausted after three hours there. In fact, he kinda slept in today! 6:37 am – woo hoo!
Anyway, my million dollar idea. I’m getting to it!
A bunch of us moms were sitting together last night (the dads were at a separate table – it was kinda like a junior high dance. Sad in a way, but at least we ladies got to let loose and not worry about offending any male ears. I’m sure they felt the same way!).
As usual with a group of mommies, talk turned to the ankle-biters. It’s always so great to hear about other people’s horror stories and know that you aren’t alone.
That’s a big reason why I started this blog. It’s one thing to schlep through your day with kids and your whole routine. It’s quite another to know that someone else out there lost it over the kids fighting. And that another mom forgot to wash their child’s favorite shirt. And that another mom has screaming kids in the grocery store. And someone else has kids who can’t remember manners at the dinner table (and can’t eat because, “HE’S LOOKING AT ME”). And another mom’s kids pull the fire alarm. And there’s another mom out there totally tired of washing floors.
Anyone, anyone? Please tell me I’m not the only one!
There was one mom – another mom of three. And she has a 6 month old. It was funny listening to the stories (especially when she was out skating with the kids and another mom had to let her know she had gum on her bum), and heartbreaking because you can almost feel her exhaustion. And remember it. Barely. It’s all a blur for me still with the bucket baby seat thingy in one arm, another one who could barely walk and a toddler… three boys, three years and under. Shudder at the thought. No wonder I drink wine.
Anyhoo. My million dollar idea.
The moms were all oohing and ahhing over each other’s war stories and battle scars. And then one mom piped up that she is so sick and tired of saying the same thing everyday to her kids. Every morning. Same thing, “boots, coat, car”.
And she repeated it a few times for us, so we understood that it wasn’t just two times she has to say this to her kids during the morning routine. Not three times. More than that.
Something started to dawn on me. It was like everything slowed down and an aura of light shone on this mom friend. All I could hear were her words, “I have to constantly say it, over and over; boots, coat, car”.
I was astonished. It’s usually me griping about this stuff. But this mom beat me to it. She must go through the same thing! Wow! I’m truly not alone!
And then this goddess continues on to say that at night, same thing. Having to repeat herself, just different words, “brush, pee, bed.”
Over and over and over.
What’s that I hear? Are the heavens opening up and angels singing? Yep, I believe that’s what I hear. A whole choir. Can I get a ‘hallelujah?’
And if you think this million dollar idea came from me, nope, I can’t take the credit. This brilliant woman who has been in the trenches with the rest of us came up with it. A CD full of someone saying, ‘boots, coat, car’. Over and over.
Playing full blast on the stereo. Everyday.
Ooooh – we could put it on ITunes too! We could make millions! I’m telling you!
Who wouldn’t buy that? To have something or someone else tell your kids the most mundane things?
It could be a box set.
Disc One – Boots, Coat, Car
Disc Two – Sit Down, Eat With Your Mouth Closed, Clear Your Dishes From The Table
Disc Three – Get a Pencil, Do Your Homework, Pack It Back In Your Bag
Disc Four – Brush, Pee, Bed
One thing I wondered about though, if we mass produce these CDs with someone else’s voice on them and not Mom or Dad’s, would the kids still listen?
And then I gave my head a shake. Of course they would! My kids always behave better for someone else!
It could be the store clerk, a waitress, the librarian, a homeless person on the street – they would all listen intently to that adult rather than me. I’m chopped liver. Who am I? I’m Mom. I have to love them anyway…
So that’s it. The next big thing!
I’m telling you – millions. Millions.
If I could insert a Dr. Evil laugh here, I would.
Oh, and I shouldn’t probably mention it here, but I will. I took the youngest for supper after the play park. And forgot to wash his hands. The countdown begins to sickness & illness. I can almost hear the germs multiplying in his system.
Have a super day everyone!