Well, there went all my great plans for trying to lose weight. Again.
The train is so far off the track right now…
And I know they say not to beat yourself up about it, but tell that to my jeans!
Not only have I not been to Weight Watchers for three weeks (which adds up big time in the money department and which does not add up at all in the wallet department), but I haven’t been keeping up with healthy eating for about two of those weeks.
Okay, granted, I was out of town for two weeks, but still… so much for being motivated for bathing suit season (shudder)…
And then the other night was a big-party-drinking-night for me. It was termed a ‘wine tasting’, but really in my world, it just means ‘runaway’.
Which also means the whole next day I eat crappy food because I might be a little rumbly in my tumbly and I find greasy food that holds no nutritional value at all is what I crave.
How can I stay on track? Why don’t I have any will power? Even this morning, I had a great healthy breakfast. I just got home a little while ago from the school run and I’ve been eyeing a mini-cupcake left over from the youngest one’s birthday weekend. I didn’t eat it. I was strong. But I can’t stop thinking about it!
So here I am, 9:46 a.m.
That’s a long way until lunch.
And I have almonds, yogurt and oranges in the house. But all I really want is that frigging cupcake. Honestly. How sad.
And so I beat myself up over this. How pathetic am I that I just can’t be healthy for one full day? Come on, it isn’t even noon yet and I can’t stop myself from fantasizing over a cupcake? Did I mention it’s chocolate? With vanilla icing and a little yellow candy dot in the middle to make it look like a daisy. Almost too pretty to eat.
Almost. Not quite.
Of course I haven’t eaten it yet, so that’s something I guess.
And my plan is to have a big old salad for lunch today.
I plan that a lot. Doesn’t happen too much.
But I’ll probably have a salad with dinner tonight when I’m cooking for the family. Fingers crossed!
So I started something today that has kinda boosted my image of myself and made me look at myself a little better. Yes, I’m a weenie when it comes to will power and yes I like food a little too much (and wine). But this morning I think I found something that has made me feel like that’s okay and my life is pretty darn good as is and I should stop beating myself up over my inability to make smart food choices everyday.
I dropped the kids at school and made my way to another school nearby where I dropped off 10 lunches for kids who are going without.
Can you imagine? I can’t make it to 10:00 a.m. without something in my belly and these elementary kids are going without food for the whole day. And they’re expected to learn something too? All I have to worry about in a typical day is to make sure the laundry is put away and hopefully get a mop across these disgusting floors.
How lucky am I?
My kids have the luxury – or they think they do – of taking a lunch to school and picking and choosing what they eat. They have veggies and fruit in there and of course those cursed cupcakes today in their little packs.
So now there are 10 kids in another school that have a lunch today. And that’s because of me. Wow. I wish I had done that sooner.
I’m not trying to toot my own horn here. I mean hey, I’m the one just yesterday eating con queso dip with a spoon.
I’m just figuring out that what they say about volunteering is true. I’ve stepped outside of my own little tiny self-involved circle and made someone else’s day a little better. By making a sandwich. Who woulda thunk?
I don’t want to get all preachy here, so let’s change the subject a bit.
If I can find the time and energy to make these lunches everyday for these children, why I bet there are a bunch of other things I could find time to do! Like maybe work out and get exercise! Wait a minute… maybe I’m getting a little carried away here…
Maybe clean out the sty of a basement that is my ‘storage room’ (a.k.a. dumping ground). Maybe actually finish the kids’ bedrooms! I’m soooo close to completing the painting but I’m honestly at the point now where I wish hubby or someone else would just take over and get it done!
But technically I could do it! I can do a lot of stuff besides just making beds and shuttling children all over the city.
I think I’ve been a little down on myself – duh – did anyone read the beginning of this post? Ya think?
But seriously – it has been gloomy weather; more snow, more cold…. we’re all feeling grouchy and just want to hibernate until the snow disappears and things are warm and green again!
I know I haven’t had much motivation for much of anything!
Hopefully this whole idea of thinking of others (besides my own immediate family) changes things.
And a salad wouldn’t hurt either.
Update: It is now 8:44 p.m. and the frigging cupcake is still intact! On another note, I can’t say the same for the jellybeans.