thepigeoncoop

Musings about life in the Pigeon household

Wishing and Hoping, and Thinking and Praying…

4 Comments

Two more weeks… ish… and school is done!

I can NOT wait to put an end to making lunches, washing uniforms, making sure we have enough black socks to go around when laundry doesn’t get done in time, getting everyone to remember their water bottles and homework and lunch bags and back packs, trying to have these willful boys dress properly for the weather (it will rain – a hoodie will not magically protect you from wet), and to get them to dress properly period (no child of mine will leave this house wearing black socks and sandals and not hear about it) and the early mornings, the breakfast wars and just basically being on a schedule every single day.

Now I know a lot of moms out there work and are probably thinking to themselves – whatever, lazy bones! Get in touch with the real world where you’re doing that every day because kids need to head out to day home, etc., etc.

And you’re absolutely right! I can’t wait to spend the summer with my kids and enjoy some time off. We’ll go camping and head to the lake. I’m so lucky I get to do this and spend this time with the boys. 

Me being home was originally in the plan all those years ago before babies came along and we’ve been lucky enough to be able to make it happen.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve struggled a LOT.

And there were a few times where we hoped beyond hope that something major didn’t happen in the house (furnace blow up, car accident, water damage – what have you) because we were already maxed out on every account and couldn’t handle one more thing.

And during my stint as a domestic goddess, I did some work from home. Some consulting work from my previous oil and gas life. Some of it was mind-numbing. Some of it was fantastic, but all in all, I’ve pretty much been home for almost nine years.

Some days it is the most monotonous and boring job in the world. Clean the kitchen, clean the bedrooms, do the floors, clean the bathrooms, do laundry, clean the kitchen again after lunch, laundry, clean it again after supper and then again after making lunches, more laundry. That’s truly what it seems like some days. I can go the whole day without talking to another grown up.

I think it is what sustains my ‘Mum Dumb’; you know, that mind-numbing time from the birth of your little miracle until you finally get your brain back.

As in; I have a horrible inability to complete sentences and remember things other adults have told me. Not to sound too defensive, but I blame it on Mum Dumb, not wine, okay?

So some days I’m on my own, doing my own thing. Some days I have my youngest with me – he’s still in kindergarten. We decided that I would stay home one more year and then try for some jobs in September.

So this is it, nine years. Almost a decade at home. The end of an era.

I plan to soak up every single minute of this summer that I can with these ankle-biters.

I’m so sad – and scared – about the idea of heading back to work. What in the world will I do?

Will I go back to my old life, working downtown? Where everything is automated and electronic and I’ve been left in the dust of 2002 where the world of oil and gas was vastly different in terms of what my job entailed?

And what about hours? Full time? Part time? I’ve said it in past posts – I don’t know how parents working full time do it with kids. Swimming, hockey, soccer, music lessons, homework, and school activities – how do you make it work?

I think they have discovered the secrets to cloning or something.

Maybe something else… new technology… hmmm…

Space – the final frontier… cue music…

“Beam me up Scotty! The traffic here is brutal and my kid’s hockey game starts in two minutes and no one has had any dinner yet!”

And while the idea of heading back to work stresses me and scares me (new wardrobe, transportation, new people, new responsibilities… what about days off? Christmas? Three kids in dayhome… ugh… my house is a sty now – what will it look like when I’m working? Will I have to yell for people to chip in around here more than I already do? How will the search for black socks go then? What if someone is sick? What if, what if, what if?)… the idea of earning some extra dough is very enticing and so is the idea of getting to use my brain for things other than making the perfect chocolate chip cookie (because I sure ain’t using my brain power for cleaning the floors perfectly! Gawd, I hate doing the floors. More than cleaning bathrooms in a house with three boys)…

But I try not to worry about it too much. Except on days like today; I was rushing around, making sure everyone is set to go, while I have to try and beautify and get myself ready since I was volunteering with the middle boy’s class on a field trip.

So my mind wanders off to those days in the future when I’ll be doing this for real, everyday, and not just able to throw a hat on my head to drop the kids at school and be able to come home and have breakfast then, by myself, and read the paper and then get into some chores.

I have it easy. I know it. I own it.

I’m only on my own two days a week, but I loooove those days – especially when I’m not having to do groceries (because why would I save it for a day when I have all three of them? Or any of them?), or when I’m volunteering – which, by the way, I thought I would really ramp up the volunteering at school this year since I’m home and the youngest is in school part time. Needless to say, I’m about as done with that whole idea as I am of making lunches everyday. I love the kids, I love the teachers, but I’m soooo ready for June 28th!

And while it isn’t necessarily crazy every single morning, just the idea of what is to come and what needs to get done makes me anxious… and even more excited for summer holidays.

I have visions of hot, sunny days spent outside at our campsite, roasting hot dogs and floating down the river on tubes.

Or heading to our lake with picnics and splashing in the water and making huge sand castles.

Or just hanging on my patio with friends on a warm evening while kids play on the trampoline and have massive water fights.

Or dropping by the nearby water park and watching my little nutbars screech in the spray.

Or going for long bike rides together and stopping for slurpees. 

Or making make chalk outlines of their little silhouettes on the warm asphalt and listening to them yell out, “me next, Mom! Do me next! See this, Mom, come see mine!” and… and…

Of course one week into July, and I’ll be wishing for school to start again.

This happens every year. The rosy glow of all things summer breaks apart into a gloom of reality when the rain doesn’t let up and everyone is stuck inside and I’m left wishing I had enrolled everyone in day camps so I could have a few minutes of peace and quiet rather than have to listen to bickering over who gets control of the channel changer!

But for now, I’ll just focus on the fact that I don’t know what my summer will look like next year. So I’m really gonna try and make this one fun, not only for the boys, but for me as well!!

And if wine needs to factor into that equation to bring back the ‘rosy glow’, so be it!

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4 thoughts on “Wishing and Hoping, and Thinking and Praying…

  1. you do the floors?

    • If you actually read the post instead of scanning through, thinking of ‘witty’ comments to post, you’d see that I hate doing floors – hence the reason they’re rarely done.
      By the by – if you fixed the tile at the back door so that crud would stop being tracked into our house, it would help with the floor situation.
      Bitchy yes. Truthful, definitely…

  2. I think it’s time to train the boys to do the cleaning….. isn’t that one of the draws to having kids….. you can get them to do all the stuff you don’t want to? I mean, while being relatively safe…. 🙂

    • True. In fact, just tonight we went through the laundry detail (me, Jack & Luke). Painful for Luke – a LOT of whining. Makes me want to find more jobs for him…

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