thepigeoncoop

Musings about life in the Pigeon household

Male Bonding at its Finest?

2 Comments

Hubby comes home today from Vancouver’s Grey Cup game and party. Back to reality.

I was thinking this weekend about how much easier it is to have him go away for a long weekend with my boys the age they are (6, 7 & 9).

Hubby has been hitting the Grey Cup since I’ve known him and has only missed a few. I remember him heading off to the party-town most years, and leaving me with three young kids in tow (ages 1, 2 and 4 was one of the hardest years for me!!). Those weekends are blurs. Mostly of me being tired and stressed after being a stay at home mom all week and then not getting a break while being a single parent for an entire long weekend with three busy boys.

But now the kids are in school full time and I really enjoyed my weekend with them.

This doesn’t mean hubby should get any ideas in his head that he can leave anytime he wants to!!

Especially since the weekend brought some unwelcome and very scary results for one of hubby’s friends.

Friday night hubby flew into Vancouver and our friend picked him up at the airport. They’ve been waiting for this weekend for months; getting more and more excited as the weeks turned into days and then into hours until they could have their ‘male bonding’ weekend and whoop it up together with a bunch of other friends.

I guess they had a hoot. They hit a few pubs, they partied at the Calgary Stampeder’s home base and I’m sure more than a few drinks were imbibed.

Then Saturday morning I wake up and check Twitter (because I figured hubby would be in disposed and in bed until at least noon), looking for updates as to how their night went and this is what I see:

“Losers and cowards who would jump a person 4 on 1; a random jump on a friend.” 

I started to worry about the safety of hubby and our friends out there just looking for a good time. 

The other thought that passed through my head was that one (or more) of our friends was probably being a mouth-piece out in Vancouver and started the whole fracas. 

But no – the story is that two friends went on a pizza run at 2:30 am wearing Stamps jerseys. Four guys passed them by on the sidewalk, made some comments about the Stamps and when our friend turned around, the goons suddenly laid into him. That’s right. 4 on 1. 

Two black eyes, a broken tooth and severe sidewalk-burns to the face and who-knows-what-else later, the four guys took off, leaving a very injured man lying on the sidewalk. 

And for what? 

Because he is a Stamps fan? Because he had the audacity to walk on a sidewalk in the city he chose to move to 5 months ago and has come to embrace as exciting and diverse? Because he was out at a crazy time of night – when I’m sure there were tonnes of people out still at that time. It’s the Grey Cup host city, for gawd’s sakes. 

And if the sidewalks were not in fact quite teaming with pedestrians, I have no doubt in my mind that there were at least a few people around, staggering home from the bar. 

No one saw anything? No one reported anything? No one yelled out for them to stop? 

And so I talked with hubby yesterday – our friend is on the mend. But the rest of us are still up in arms that this could have happened to our buddy. 

And then all the trash talk starts – oh, it’s Vancouver. They’re a bunch of rage-filled-ignorant asses, yadda yadda, look at the riots, are we surprised this happened? 

I mean really, the trash talk started up before this event even occurred. We all joked around that BC had better win the Grey Cup; otherwise what in the world would the citizens do to the city then? Har dee har har – all in fun. 

Now I wonder. 

Of course I shake that sort of talk off – as if you can generalize and categorize an entire city of people in with these idiots. And as if that kind of ignorance wouldn’t happen in a bunch of other cities in Canada. All it takes is a few losers to create a bad reputation (and leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth). Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, Toronto, Butt-Crack-Central – it could happen anywhere.

But I don’t think it will help anyone’s argument living in Vancouver right now that this violence and hatred seems to keep rearing its ugly head in Vancouver. Just saying. 

I’m just relieved for hubby and his pals that BC won last night. I’ll leave it at that.

Then I started thinking about my boys and how one day too soon for my liking, they’ll be adults, probably heading off if not on weekends involving sporting events like grey cup, then at least male-bonding weekends. And I’ll be so petrified for them and their safety, just as every parent before me has been. 

Doesn’t help that violence seems to be becoming a norm now. You apparently can’t even show support for a team (a team who isn’t even playing in the big game) without a bunch of cowards who have the audacity to call themselves ‘men’ jump you and beat the shit out of you.

 I’m scared for my children.

 Do you think any of those idiots went home and felt bad the next day? Do you think they felt remorse? To know that you laid your hands on another person and injured them; could have sent them to hospital, could have hurt them so seriously that the effects could be felt for years, not only for the victim, but his entire family.

 What do you think our friend had to say to his children the next day when they saw his black eyes? How are those children feeling in this city they moved to and adopted; where they’ve started school and found new friends?

 I think I’m scared for something bigger and more encompassing than just my children if we as parents and adults allow events like this to continue and not be ashamed and shocked and upset that this could happen not only to friends and family, but in our very backyard.

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2 thoughts on “Male Bonding at its Finest?

  1. You read about this stuff in the papers and it seems so far away from you but it isn’t. It happens everywhere, any city.

    There is an ominous sense that it is particularly bad here, from riots to many of the people who have commented on this story who have left Vancouver because of the violence. You have an area dedicated here to people who would kill you in a heartbeat for drugs or money.

    The sad thing is there are also a lot of good people here; community minded people who also suffer because the city they love gets a bad name. And I won’t trash talk Vancouver as a city because of my respect and admiration for the many good people we have met here. Our neighbours, other families in our community.

    I acknowledge that it has its aggressive undertones, but that is all.

    This story goes to show that you always need to use common sense where ever you go. Especially when you start to mix in alcohol and that common sense goes out the window. So even when these random incidents present themselves you have the right mind to deal with them. Maybe it would still have happened anyway, but cooler heads sometimes do prevail. Or you make a different split second choice.

    Things happen for a reason, and maybe random acts like this are meant to remind us of the things that are important, like the family you come home to everyday. And reminds us to make sure that we teach our children well so they don’t become the thugs or teach them how to make good decisions so they don’t become victims. That is how I wrap my head (and face apparently) around something like this.

    • You make some really great points, S.
      I’ve been to Vancouver a few times and have family and friends living there (yourselves included).
      I’m sure the good will outweigh the bad soon enough and those wonderful people that make the city a vibrant, positive experience will come to the forefront and the negative idiots will take a back seat.
      Hope you’re doing well – take care!

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