Oh, Mother Nature. How you toy with us measly human beings.
Or maybe I should say Human Nature.
Recently I was on Facebook (to those of you who know me at all, this is the exact opposite of a ‘big shock’).
And I saw a post from a friend of mine that has stuck with me for the last few days. She is a great person I met in university and who is due any day now to have her second child.
She posted about people who say that pregnancy is all fabulous and lovely must have conveniently forgotten about the uncomfortable sleepless nights, having to constantly pee, relentless heart burn, weight gain, water retention and all that other classy stuff that goes along with the miracle and wonder of birth….
This is something known as pregnancy amnesia. There is seriously a term for it. I looked it up on the internet and everyone knows you can believe absolutely everything you find on the web, right? They’ve actually done studies on this. And although the actual brain is not altered during pregnancy, a gazillion women claim they have gone through it. Call it what you will:
My fav? Mum Dumb.
Ah yes, Mother Nature’s way of ensuring women (with the help of some willing men) will go forth and multiply.
More than once.
Because if you don’t remember the pain and discomfort and yuckiness of pregnancy and labour (or an emergency C-section as was the case with me), then maybe you’ll do it more than once.
Hell, maybe even three times.
Some women? Even more!!!
I completely believe in Mum Dumb.
My youngest child will be seven years old in a month and I’m still struggling through this affliction.
Even more so lately. It became very clear to me during our recent family vacation to Mexico that this is something I still struggle with. I now have a new term for it. Feel free to vote on your favourite:
We were in Mazatlan a few weeks ago and while on the plane to get there, I came to the stunning realization that I was sick and tired of my children.
Let me be very clear here – we hadn’t even arrived to our destination yet, and my children were already driving me insane.
Now it must be said that I throw that term around a lot.
That the kids are driving me crazy.
And in most cases, I’m exaggerating. Its only mild delirium and a couple of grey hairs.
The men in the white coats are not searching for me with the nets every time the kids spill on the table multiple times during a meal or when they constantly squabble over video games. I know the padded room is in my future, but it won’t happen because one of my angels left the house without his mittens or socks in -30 weather or left the toothpaste all over the bathroom counter.
But after we disembarked from the plane I was definitely drained, exhausted and thinking that I was in for a world of hurt with these boys… and in response to my pain and suffering; everyone else would be having a cruddy vacation too.
No one is happy when Momma is unhappy.
But by the time we gathered our luggage and went through (ha ha) Mexican security, I was already looking forward to our next adventure. I was excited to be away with my boys and eager to have fun as a family…
Of course the cerveza offered to me in the airport lobby might have helped in that area a bit…
Overall, the vacation was a success.
There were a few blips on the radar, as there inevitably is when traveling with children…
Okay, I’m downplaying.
Geez. This is a serious problem! Vacationesia, I’m telling you!
In reality, I was ready to pitch a few of them out of my hotel room once or twice.
And that was even after I had started on my glass of wine.
Don’t even get me started on the attitudes, the foot stomping, the whining and the very impressive body contortions accompanied by ‘awwwwww! Whyyyyyyyyeeeeee!?!’ when we visited the Mazatlan aquarium… with my mother-in-law… front row and centre to witness the wonderful behaviour of my three little frigging angels.
Or when approached by beach-side salesmen with trinkets and knick-knacks… We would respond with a ‘no, gracias’, only to be blasted by back-talk and an ear-piercing screech of ‘awwwww! Whyyyyyeeeee!?!’…
Makes it hard to be gracious and polite while saying ‘no’ to these strangers with a brat in the background kicking sand and complaining that they ‘never get anything’… while on a beach… at a resort… in Mexico…
Over all we had a fantastic time and the boys got a chance to go zip lining, quadding and ride absolutely everywhere without a seat belt. We had fun playing in the ocean and had a chance to experience a bit of Carnival. We visited with family and ate the best food and did a lot of sight-seeing!
So really, I’m exaggerating… the vacation wasn’t that bad.
The kids were pretty darn good. Great in fact… in the grand scheme of things…
Crap. There I go again.
Is there a hotline I can call? I need help, stat.
Before I book my next vacation…